(Done for the annual review of my progress in my Ph.D. program the year I created this site).
What happened this past year in my professional life? I became a Ph.D. candidate in Rhetoric and Writing, which means that I passed my exams. I’m now something like an academic adolescent: not quite an adult, but no longer a child either. I’m reminded of that quote from the bible: “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
I’m not honestly sure how that applies here; I’m just reminded of it. Perhaps it applies because I now see some order from the chaos that was my life before this moment. There have been many times over the past year, for example, when I thought that something like this might be happening:

“Negation Field”
And maybe it was. During my dissertation prospectus defense, for example, I felt like a blithering idiot, like nothing I was saying was making any sense. But now, putting together this website, I feel like I do have some expertise in what I have been studying, teaching, and doing for, not just this past year, but the last two and a half years.
I read my research, teaching, and other links and they actually make sense to me, and also seem like the kinds of things that would make sense to other people in the field, or even, perhaps, in other fields.
Those of you on my committee who read this post will recognize much of the language from my 2008 reflection (this is not to assume that anyone else is going to read this post
. I have repurposed much of it for this site, but have changed it slightly so that it communicates better with a broader audience. My original teaching philosophy, for example, started like this:
“My insights as a teacher stem from my experiences as a first generation college student turned labor activist turned community media facillitator, who is also from a low-income, working-class background and who has managed to negotiate several institutions of higher learning.”
Now I read this, and hear “blah, blah, blah.” I think this first sentence communicates very little about what I believe as a teacher. It’s setting up my background, but it’s trying to do so too quickly. And honestly: how much do people who are interested in me professionally for whatever reason really want to know about my background in that first sentence?
The new first sentence on my teaching page is a lot better, I think: “My teaching philosophy is that in a democratic society all citizens deserve equal access to the most effective modes of communication.” Bam. Simple, direct, and to the point. My core beliefs boiled down into a few key ideas. And this is what I think now (I think).
Perhaps that’s why I thought of that quote above. I spake as a child…I understood as a child…I feel like my entire professional relationship to the world has changed in the past 2.5 years. And the way I name what’s in the world has changed, too.
If someone were to ask me what I teach now, I’d say something like: “writing. Actually, I have students do academic essays as well as multimedia projects with community organizations. Stuff like videos, websites, brochures, etc.” The ability to say this, of course, has developed over two semesters of teaching my WRA 135 class, two semesters of asking students and interrogating with them: why exactly are we doing this? Why are we doing multimedia projects with community partners? In a writing class of all places?
And the answer to this question has become something like my new first sentence from my teaching philosophy: because people in the local community want to communicate in those ways. And because they need help doing it.
If someone were to ask me what I research, I’d tell them: “well, I’m interested in a lot of things, like how media function in our culture, and how people use them to get their message across.” “Oh, really, like what kind of media?” “Well, right now I’m looking at how service-learning students use different modes of writing to make media for community organizations, stuff like writing for the web, or editing a video, or formatting a brochure.” “So you’re interested in how they do those things?” “Yes, but I’m more interested in what they need to do those kinds of writing: like infrastructure and know-how. They need equipment, for example, and they need to know how to use that equipment.”
“Well, how will you figure out what they need and how they figure out how to use the stuff that they end up using?” “Simple: I’m going to videotape them working on their projects and I’m going to ask them about what I see. I have a hunch, though, that they use knowledge they come into the classroom with in very particular ways, something we might call ‘cultural know-how:’ knowledge they’ve accumulated just by making and consuming media within infrastructures they’ve been part of (like high school or a community media center).”
“Well, I have just one more question: how do you define things like ‘media’ or ‘mode’?”
“Uhhh…well I’m hoping to articulate those definitions through my research…” (phew, this guy sounds just like my committee
This answer, again, has developed over the past year and even longer in close collaboration with not only my committee but the research participants for my pilot study that I conducted last spring.
Finally, if someone were to ask me how I serve my local community, I’d say something like what I say on my reciprocity page: “Instead of engaging in acts of ‘service,’ I believe in engaging in acts of reciprocity and in developing professionally so that I might better engage in such acts.” This has helped clarify for me the relationship between what I do professionally and my personal value system: I’m continually learning skills that can help other people. This translates right through my teaching and research agendas, as well.
It may sound strange, but I haven’t had much faith that I was actually doing this until now, helping other people I mean, and I think some part of me, the “radical,” “activist” part still doesn’t believe that what I’m doing is useful to other people. Perhaps this is part of developing into a professional, however: you find some way of believing in what you are doing.